It’s a new academic year; a new semester is about to begin. Are you still working on your thesis or dissertation? Are you planning on completing your degree? What will you do differently to ensure that you complete your degree? The start of another semester provides another opportunity to set some new goals. Write your goals down and post them for others to see.
Writing a thesis or dissertation is often described as a lonely and isolating process. The process is often described in this manner because many friends and family do not understand what is involved in completing a PhD even if you explain it to them more than once. One area to examine is the role of your friends in helping or hindering you in completing your degree. Nonetheless, you might have to create some distance and space from others who are not writing their thesis or dissertation.
Recently in the August issue of Success magazine (p.16), John Maxwell writes:
Our relationships with others fall into one of five categories:
- Addition–Some relations add to who we are
- Subtraction-Some relationships take a bit out of us
- Multiplication–Some relationships can multiply our strengths, results and contacts
- Division–Some relationships can divide us.
Which one of these categories best describes your friends or best friend? Do they respect your time? How well do they hear you when you say no? Are your friends constantly calling you asking you to “hang out?” If you are writing your thesis or dissertation you really don’t have time to hangout, party, or even go to a club. Sometimes many of us have difficulty in saying no to our friends. If you continue to do the same thing you will get the same results.
Here are some creative ways to say no to friends and family.
“I am trying to finish writing my dissertation this year and I have 180 days to do it.”
“I would really like to hang out with you but I have a chapter to finish by the end of next week”
“After June 21, 2011, I will be celebrating the completion of my PhD and I would like for you to help me celebrate then, please be patient.”
” I am writing my dissertation and would like to finish by June 21, 2011; I have to finish a chapter every 25 days…I need your help in this effort….please only call me if it is an emergency.”
Can you think of some other ways to say no?